You've seen the trends, now here's the gossip – from Alex Ferguson's unexpected influence on style to some shocking news about shoulder bags
1. The biggest influence on fashion in 2013: Alex Ferguson
You know how Alex Ferguson always says no player is bigger than Man United? That attitude is one that fashion-industry bosses are now adopting. The new generation of designers working as hands-for-hire for the major fashion houses will not be allowed to become gods in their own right in the way that the previous generation – Tom Ford at Gucci, John Galliano at Dior – were able to do. François-Henri Pinault, the head of PPR, has made it clear that, post-Ford, the brand will always be the front-of-house product, not the designer's creativity. (As for LVMH – well, we all know how the allowing-Galliano's-genius-to-blossom-unchecked strategy panned out.) The result is that the new generation of designers – Wang at Balenciaga is the obvious example – are duty-bound to promote the codes of the house, or the DNA of the brand, at every turn. Which is fine, and interesting to a point. But when it gets to be in every single sleeve-shape, it is in danger of becoming a little bit boring.
2. The counter-trend to the Alex Ferguson School of Fashion: It's Just What I Want To Wear, As A Woman
So basically, half the designers in Paris have bosses who are running around bashing them over the head with fashion history books, and the other half are like "I'm so glad I don't have that, I'm so free", and as a result they are enjoying showing off about how their collections are all about a personal emotion. Paris fashion right now can be divided into Team Codes of the House and Team It's Just What I Want to Wear, as a Woman.
3. The shoulder-bag is dead
You know your bag? That great big bulging one, that you sling over your shoulder? Nobody at Paris fashion week has a bag like that. The type of handbag owned by 99.9999% of British women – sack-like, practical shoulder strap for comfort even when it weighs a tonne, capacious enough for spare shoes/the stuff you need to get from Tesco on the way home – does not exist at Paris fashion week, either on the catwalk or among the audience. Evening bags are clutchbags or pouches; day bags are slightly bigger pouches that should be hugged to the body. Shoulder straps must be removed or tucked out of sight. If you absolutely must have a bag bigger than a clutch/huggable pouch (ie if you are British) it should have short straps, like a basket, so that you hold it in your hand rather than sling it over your shoulder.
4. The Black Crows v The Peacocks
Suzy Menkes, quiffed queen of the front row, got everyone's La Perlas in a twist with an article attacking that new breed of fashion-industry professional, the blogger. (In Menkes's piece, he black crows are the old-school fashion editors, who wore something wonky and dour and Japanese; the bloggers, with their statement heels and bare legs and look-at-meeee outfits, are the peacocks.) Hard to know where to stand on this. My personal respect for Menkes is immense, but on the other hand I am also seriously impressed by bloggers who are able to shoulder-robe a jacket while taking a photo. Can't we all just be friends?
5. It is all about a fringed bob
Cara who? This Paris fashion week has been all about Karlie Kloss and her gorgeous bob-with-bangs, as the Americans call it. Michelle Obama's already on this trend, and once The Great Gatsby comes out in May it'll go nuclear, mark my words.
6. In Paris, leopardprint never goes out of style
Like, ever, as Taylor Swift would say.
7. This winter's coat isn't going to cut it next winter
If you invested in a tailored-classic-coat this season thinking it would be a timeless piece, prepare to be annoyed, because next season is all about a fairytale coat. Choose from cutesy and childish (the duffel, as seen at Saint Laurent); Grimm brothers hooded cape (Valentino); or Wicked Stepmother Fur (just about everywhere). And yes, I know you think you don't care about trends but ... get your coat properly cleaned before you put it away this spring, just in case you don't see it again as soon as you think, OK? Please. For me?