After five days of fashion shows in the capital, here is the word from the catwalks. Drop these phrases into your conversation and everyone will know you were on the front row. Even if you weren't
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1. 'Avant-bland is the new avant-garde'
Being unpretentious is the new being pretentious. JW Anderson, whose name is white-hot right now thanks to persistent rumours of him being adopted into the LVMH stable, coined this phrase to describe dresses whose texture and silhouette was inspired by Vileda Supermops and takeaway boxes. The "avant-bland" aesthetic kicked off at Céline last season, where the prints were inspired by the checks on cheap laundrette holdalls. For extra kudos, hold court with the argument that the avant-bland looks on the catwalk are the natural extension of how Phoebe Philo, current queen of catwalk cool, has made the tradition of giving artistic and retro references to a collection look old hat by her habit of shrugging nonchalantly and insisting the clothes she designs are just, y'know, stuff she wants to wear. If anyone's still listening, you could try out the theory that avant-bland and the just-stuff-to-wear philosophy is a sign of how social media has transformed the whole culture of the fashion industry. The ivory tower is, like, totally last season.
2. 'Pastels have never been so cool'
Pale pink, sky blue, mint green and buttercup yellow are the colours of the season. Two shows that got tonnes of I-want-to-wear-that-now love from the audience for their sugary colours were Preen and Emilia Wickstead. The two labels are very different in character – Preen is urban and slick and worn by Kristen Stewart; Emilia Wickstead is uptown and feminine and worn by the Duchess of Cambridge – so when they both have hit shows that use the same colour combinations, it's a sure bet there's something in the air. At Preen, a sugar-pink wrap-dress flashed its lemon yellow lining on the catwalk; at Emilia Wickstead, a yellow coat topped a pink dress. Roksanda Ilincic, whose catwalk is always a weathervane for colour trends because of her unerring knowledge of what looks most modern, also went for pastel combinations: orange and mint, lime and lemon, in acid-bright TicTac shades.
3. 'A sweatshirt and a skirt is the new jeans and blouse'
In Case You Missed It – or ICYMI, as they say on Twitter – there has been an under-the-radar fashion shift in the last year, whereby when you want to look casual you dress down your top half not your bottom half. So, instead of snazzing up comfy jeans with a pretty top, you dress a sporty sweatshirt up by teaming it with a nice skirt. There were zillions of examples of this on the London fashion week catwalks, but the winning ones were at Antonio Berardi and at Christopher Kane. Your next-season sweatshirt may have a flower on it, or it may have baseball-jacket shaped shoulder seams; your skirt will have pleats, or an asymmetric hem (adds sharpness, like a twist of lemon).
4. 'Jonathan Saunders, Preen, Berardi, Kane and JW Anderson are on fire'
Those are the names you will be raving about now. Here's your one-liner on each. Jonathan Saunders: "A belle-laide triumph. So good to see the degrade and the peony prints being revisited as codes of the house should. I'm ordering a rainbow knit and saving up for an embroidered cocktail dress." Preen: "I love how the clothes are so happy and peppy, but still cool. I've picked out the pixelated-patchwork summer dress to wear for a wedding next summer." Antonio Berardi: "He has the highest taste level in British fashion, if you ask me. And it's so well made. And Tony's such a sweetheart. He really should be so much more famous." Christopher Kane: "I was worried that his investors would pressure him into making it mainstream, but it's still quite twisted and dark." JW Anderson: "So apparently the rumoured deal between J Dubz and LVMH is totes happening, my sources tell me."
5. 'Flowers are the new slogans'
The Christopher Kane sweatshirt embroidered with the word "flower" brings new meaning to the phrase: "Say it with flowers." A few seasons ago, London fashion was all about a hi-tech print; now it's all about a peony or a lily or an orchid. But next season's flowers aren't there to represent garden party jolliness. After his Burberry show, Christopher Bailey enthused about flowers being "fragile and vulnerable", Christopher Kane talked about their "sexual undertones", while at House of Holland, dresses were decorated with the inky drawings of roses used in tattoo parlours.
6. 'I can see right through you'
This is now a compliment, by the way. Transparency is tres chic next season. The divine Burberry show will start a high-street trend for the semi-sheer lace pencil skirt, you mark my words. (Paloma Faith was already on board with this trend in the front row, wearing a bronze latex skirt through which her heart-print Burberry pants were clearly visible.) Cellophane fabric was used at Preen, and lots of tissue-thin layers of organza and lace at the exquisite Erdem show. ("If I get married next year, I'm wearing Erdem" is another LFW phrase to drop.)
7. 'Tom? He's a national treasure!'
Should anyone question why Tom Ford, the best dressed man in London and the fashion visionary of his generation, should choose to include crystal micro-mini dresses, white furry sleeves and lace-up thigh-high boots in his catwalk collection, this is what you must say. (FYI: Everyone calls him "Tom".) Most designers put edgy, critic-pleasing, highbrow looks on their catwalks and then fill their stores with more commercial, crowd-pleasing stuff. Ford, on the other hand, puts on catwalk shows which feel off-trend in their loud, glitzy sexiness – but his new store is full of exquisitely tailored suits, perfect cashmere, the most elegantly understated leather weekend bags. He's Tom. He does things his way, and who are we to argue?
8. 'Styles by name, Styles by nature'
Harry Styles looked very at home in the front row this week at Burberry and House of Holland. Could he be the next Kanye West, making the journey from music to the front row to designing?
9. 'I'll take it in M&S pink'
The huge success of this season's M&S pink coat – flagged here, and everywhere else, as the high-street must-have of the autumn – has had a knock-on effect on the catwalk, where this particular shade of soft raspberry was everywhere. Cara Delevingne wore it at Burberry; Richard Nicoll not only put it on his catwalk, but painted the benches to match. For the foreseeable future, this shade will be referred to as "M&S pink".
10. 'The 90s are back'
It's happening. After a 1980s revival that, as more than one wag has pointed out, lasted longer than the 80s themselves, the 90s were back on the catwalk. Nineties sportswear influenced the silhouettes at Jonathan Saunders while at Giles, designer Giles Deacon used classic images of Kate Moss and Amber Valetta on his dresses.
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