'Hard on the nude heels of the Kate Middleton effect, we have the backlash'
Poor K Middy. Not only has the popularity of the duchess herself already been overshadowed by devotion to HRH the Baby of Cambridge, but her favourite shoes have gone out of fashion. Life can be so cruel.
Hard on the nude heels of the Kate Middleton effect, we have the backlash. Last year, the skin-toned pumps she wore at every opportunity were the toast of the high street. The leg-lengthening properties of a high heel in a shade that matches your bare legs were praised the length and breadth of the kingdom. And they go with everything. What's not to love?
This year, we have a mutiny on our hands. Or, rather, on our feet. The trouble with those nude heels is not that the leg-lengthening effect isn't real, or that they don't go with everything. Both are absolutely true – and that's the problem. The nude shoe is just too easy on the eye. Too well behaved. Too anodyne. A bare leg in a nude shoe looks a little like a Barbie limb, frozen into a pert, high-heeled stance. At the risk of sounding like the Hilary Mantel of the fashion journalism world, the Kate Middleton nude heel lacks flavour, let alone bite.
Times have moved on, and fast. This summer, you can walk into any high-street store and find a shoe to match your favourite-colour Jelly Baby. Bags, too, have gone bright: where traditionally the leather goods industry has liked to signal the heritage of its handbags through an emphasis on black, oxblood and tan, this season's It bags are as likely to be raspberry, petrol blue or zesty lemon.
The bright accessory is effective for the exact opposite of the reason that the nude shoe is effective. A nude shoe allows the observer's gaze to roll from pretty face to unobtrusive toe with no snagging. A bright accessory, on the other hand, is a curve ball, catching your eye at unexpected angles. It works, this season, because the silhouette and design of accessories are having a sleek, pared-down moment – single-sole pumps, slender, boxy clutches – that lends itself to bright colour. Poor old Kate, getting the blame. Maybe she can cheer herself up with a nice new pair of shoes.
• Jess wears suede ruched-front dress, £550, burberry.com. Pointed court shoes, £365, and clutch, £550, both jimmychoo.com.
Photographer: David Newby. Hair and makeup: Dani Richardson using YSL Beauté.